Wow- where do I begin? I started out thinking that the most important part of teaching was to get to know my students. In actuality, the most important thing was to maintain control at all times. Students need to know who is in charge, and what to expect. They need consistency and structure. This means that as teachers, we need to have a good solid plan, and we need to know our content area well. I learned that even though I may want to get involved with my students outside of class (i.e. "Mrs. Klipa, will you come to my softball game? Mrs. Klipa, will you come to my play?), it's best to get the job done as professionally and as dutifully as possible, and keep boundaries, otherwise what you say and do may come back to haunt you.
As important as it is to maintain control and structure, it's also necessary to value flexibility, and to realize that things will always change. Have a backup plan, always! Never take comments or situations personally. Talk to students with an open mind, and offer a smile no matter what they say, or do, or feel, or act. Be real, but firm. And always, always, always, validate their feelings. My approach to students is to either acknowledge their feelings while gently guiding them to the goal, or to just listen, and not offer a response, but a simple, "yes" or "hmm". Most of the time teenagers just want to talk, and they need someone to listen. Oh, and give as little information about irrelevant subjects as possible. For example, when students ask me, "Is Mr. S here?" (when I'm subbing for him), I say, "No". Then they say, "Where is he?", and instead of saying, "Well Cindy, he's on the panel of teachers choosing our new AP", which is what I WOULD have said a few months ago, I now say, "He's gone". That works.
